Trying to write while I'm dreaming of waking up.

[¡¡¡Germany update at the bottom of this post!!!]


The magic of being taken into situations we never dreamed up ourselves. To be caught in another’s creation, or simply: another’s (daily) life. The power of friendship, of hearts not content, of hearts just pouring out with what naturally flows, our deepest love, tender and one-hundred percent vulnerable. The people I know and the lives that I see daily; they thrill me beyond anything I can create myself. My perception colliding memories that come with a package of light, colour and tangible taste/feeling. There are moments that make no sense prior to them actually happening. But in the midst of their machine-like-workings, we realize that sometimes, the collected pieces of dreams and memories sewn together in half attentive and joyous dance, we find the end result, our very own machine has been dreaming all along, dreaming for the day that it itself would be set free from our minds. And not to simple be terminal, to not just look in the mirror and call forth forced words of beauty… That our machine might be set free in order to teach us: that all which is truly remarkable, and truly meaning full, required only that we might share our hearts with one another, to never hinder, to never hold any one’s ideas higher or lower, to never feel exclusive, since we all were once machines. We all once held our hands over our eyes. So encourage each other and gently lower the lit walls and tender hands that cover out faces from seeing the truth that stares at us in patience. There cannot be something so perfect, that only belongs to a few. And it is that machine that reminds us, as it clothes’ itself in fleshly attire, so much, that we can’t separate the real from the imaginative… separating the machine, our dream, from the dreamer who finally sits confused, wondering is there any difference now? But what the machine is whispering to the dreamer is this: That you can be like me, stronger and endless and you can remain still human, still flesh for the time being… But know that your dream, that I the machine am here to let you know what you have beyond most things created, relationships with other hearts, connection to the countless that want to express what can sometimes be inexpressible. Because I’ve seen too many prideful selfish inspired machines.. I strive for the challenge of this, beyond, more bold. To understand how to love those fellow dream seekers. To share in kindness and humility (not self-loathing) when our machines begin to come out wrong. As a machine i feel led to say… that we aren’t growing anywhere, until you people can set aside the trivial arguments that separate. Im interested in those of you who will scream through your soul, in the most challenging task of mercy and love, sharing with each other FOR each other. Practice alone, and meditate, master yourself. Come undone before God and let everything expose it’s face. Eventually add to your dreams, far before I the machine come to be… add that true love that comes from Jesus. Cause I’m telling you now, you’re going to want the opposite in the moment it comes to you. So know now, I a machine telling you, there will be greater, there is bound to become more. Let go of your clasp on my direction and just let your gentle patience simmer, a little longer. No longer than that. Rest on that for a while longer. AND ONE DAY WHEN YOU NATURALLY WALK INTO THE ANSWER, ALMOST FORGETTING WHAT THE QUESTION WAS, THERE, A GREAT AMOUNT WILL BE ADDED TO YOU. and together you all will be seamless, loving. You will share stories and be content with just each other’s company. The dreaming machines will come. But first we pray for you, to let go, to love.


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updates yo.
Getting closer to a plane ticket! Gathering up emails and addresses. (ps if you read this but haven't sent me that, could you at brkonnia@gmail.com?) About to send a Hogwarts amount of letters throughout the Nation. 
right now I'm at $260 and need about $440 or so for a plane ticket (one-way (total of about $750)). Please help! even 3 bucks is great, just your care and existence is enough.

His Eyes

The past few weeks have been cluttered with misinterpreted emotions, numb haziness and brittle anxiety, all leaving me overwhelmed: a clouded perception with offset eyes.

Last night pulled my feet out from under me and my false feelings. In the midst of all those negative things pulling at my every attempt at equilibrium, I made my way to quite possibly, the last Cool Hand Luke show I’ll ever see. For it was their last album, last tour. I was telling Mark later that night after the show that I was hardly even in the mood to drive the 40 miles out to the show. I would have rather went home, fighting lukewarm apathy/motivation, feeling little to nothing pressing further against my worn out mind.

But I relented and journeyed out, enjoying the drive.

To cut to point. It took giving up control of handling the outcome of my emotions and mood to become open to the moving of that which was around me, the Holy Spirit. As I sat, listening to the music, listening to the familiar honesty of Mark (CHL’s singer), I was removed from myself and anything that had hindered my spirit. It seemed almost immediate that my heart was swollen and my eyes were glassy. CHL’s newest album is based on the last days leading up to Jesus’ death and resurrection, giving perspectives of those who encountered him, sharing what might have been their thoughts and emotions towards the unfathomable and most unsettling events that took place. (i.e., through the eyes of Simon Peter, John, Judas Iscariot, Jesus’ mother Mary…)

I realized, that I had everything I needed before I even walked into that room and that the only thing that changed was my perception. So many trivial things were consuming me with worry, saturating my mind with anxious contemplation. And for no reason. In comparison to that which is truly important, all the rest seemed to fall away and take it’s rightful place; underneath my joy, underneath God’s grace and peace.
Once again, it was honesty and surrender that allowed me to see the truth that never leaves, always waits and constantly pursues…

Soli Deo Gloria

I need helpz.

This is just one example on how the mission base in Herrnhut is fighting injustice.

also, here's my support letter! I guess you could say this is the first time it's making it's debut in the real world.
https://sites.google.com/site/bkenneyandrew/supportz


The Koshe Project from Stephanie Eatherly on Vimeo.

New things coming.

I love some of the Photography I've been finding lately. Makes me drool some, can't wait to get to it.
This specific shot is in Iceland, photo presented as a negative/C Print by Dan Holdsworth from Geneva, Switzerland. Black and White or negative, either way. I love it.

Another photographer I've been following for a while now is Aram Dikiciyan.

Germany in about two months. My Support letter is finished. I'll be sending it off tomorrow! :)

Text vs. Design

So yesterday I finally finished my Support Letter! So stoked... but... now I have some more work to do on it: Designing it. After I'd finished, I had a couple of friends read it for errors, and content change. Other than a few grammatical changes, and later on a little more talk on the content side, most people encouraged me to somewhat "Design" it, using typography or my photography, that way the viewer, you will get a little more of me out of it, and also, because reading two pages of text can be very overwhelming!

So, alas, more work to be done. But I can't wait to see how it turns out, and to finish it...

:)

Pushing through.

Procrastination is such a killer.
Even this post is distracting me from finishing my Support Letter, but alas, I have it open and it constantly stares me in the face, waiting.

Something also that I will be unleashing anytime now, "TODAY"... is my kickstarter.
www.kickstarter.com
Kickstarter is a way for creatives to raise funds for awesome projects they are trying to accomplish. In my case, I am building a Photobook filled with my own photographs and some of my writing. The idea is to highlight the beauty of the human story, that no matter who you are, each story is gold regardless of what it appears to weigh.

so. back to the support letter.

One step.

Beginning a new blog: such an open ended endeavor. Ever since I was young, I would set up a new blog, write a few times and forget it was ever important, never writing again.

I'm gonna try and change that with this blog.

Instead, this space will serve as an "extended status update". (ha) See, in June, I'll be driving from Orlando, FL, up to Ohio and will then be moving over to Herrnhut, Germany to work with do photography and learn more about International Justice.

Along the way, I'd like to update with some photography I'm working on, euphoric experiences, deep feelings and emotions, things I find germane to who I am, with where I'm at.

By tonight, I'll have a "DONATE" button, which honestly, is a must. My time overseas as a long-term missionary will require help. Most missions if not all, is support based... So any help I promise goes where it should.

I hope to get a blog going that you want to read. So over the next few I'll be figuring out what to bring your way, to pull, to inspire, to show you what beauty I see in this place, the world.

also... I want you to listen to this song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91j8k1MApLU

and you'll notice some lovely photographes in the background. I made that little thing using photographs from Aram Dikiciyan. (www.aramdikiciyan.com)

thank you for your life.

bak